


Communication Log of Stabby the Roomba, cerca 03 April 3077 (Earth United Time)

by rosethornli



Category: humans are space orcs - Fandom
Genre: Communication Log, Humans Are Weird, Inspired by Twitter, Multimedia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28254597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosethornli/pseuds/rosethornli
Summary: Communication log of Stabby the Roomba (rank, various) is elective reading forHuman Studies II.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23
Collections: Yuletide Madness 2020





	Communication Log of Stabby the Roomba, cerca 03 April 3077 (Earth United Time)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elfwreck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/gifts).



**Note from instructor** : Communication log of Stabby the Roomba (rank, various) is elective reading for _Human Studies II_.

Exert below of incident reports over the course of a Fifteen hour daily cycle on the Third Day of the Four-Twelth Month, Three-Thousand Seventy-Seven Year (Earth United Calendar, According to Greg Ordian).

Reflection recordings may be submitted to Telewave by end of reading.

* * *

Cadet Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has left his docking station. 06:00 AM - 3 Apr 3077 10  24 

Cadet Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 9 times in the last hour.  07:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 4  12

Deck Cadet Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 6 times in the last hour.  08:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 6  15

Boatswain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Morning goal eached!  Stabby has stabbed 15 times in the last hour.  09:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 11  17

Boatswain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@All_Crew Distress signal. Stabby is stuck in **Air Lock Side B** under the **third floor storage return vent**. 09:47 AM - 3 Apr 3077 41  68

Boatswain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@All_Crew Disregard. Stabby is now free. Repeat, Stabby is no longer stuck.  09:53 AM - 3 Apr 3077 23  83

Officer Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 8 times in the last hour.  10:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 13  19

Officer Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby's disposal bag is full. There will be no stabbing for the next **15 minutes**. 10:18 AM - 3 Apr 3077 3  47

Officer Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has left his docking station. 10:33 AM - 3 Apr 3077 29  19

Officer Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 11 times in the last hour.  11:12 AM - 3 Apr 3077 22  31

Officer Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@All_Crew Stabby has entered the cafeteria.  12:00 PM - 3 Apr 3077 87  59

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 32 times in the last hour.  12:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 12 55

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@Maintenance Clean up requested on Aisle 12. 12:17 PM - 3 Apr 3077 23  83

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 26 times in the last hour.  01:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 12 55

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has struck a wall.  01:20 PM - 3 Apr 3077 1 3

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has struck a wall.  01:21 PM - 3 Apr 3077 0 0

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has struck a wall.  01:22 PM - 3 Apr 3077 0 0

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Wall calibration script has been deactivated. 01:23 PM - 3 Apr 3077 51 0

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 7 times in the last hour. 02:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 11 21

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 17 times in the last hour. 03:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 15 19

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 11 times in the last hour. 04:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 1 2

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@All_Crew Distress signal. Stabby has a stomach ache. Stabby cannot eat **[Unknown Object]**. 04:38 PM - 3 Apr 3077 42 49

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@All_Crew Distress signal. Stabby is stuck in **[Location Unknown]** under the **[Location Unknown]**. 04:39 PM - 3 Apr 3077 33 47

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@IT_Tracking Distress signal. Stabby has entered **[Coordinates Unknown]**. 04:42 PM - 3 Apr 3077 17 4

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@IT_Tracking This is what Stabby sees. 04:45 PM - 3 Apr 3077 19 24

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 0 times in the last hour. 05:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 10 14

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@IT_Tracking This is what Stabby sees. 05:25 PM - 3 Apr 3077 47 61

Lieutenant Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@All_Crew Stabby has been freed from **Hallway Airlock A Side** under the **loose floor panels**. 05:45 PM - 3 Apr 3077 10 14

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 21 times in the last hour. 06:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 10 14

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has reached a rank of **Captain**. Reminding @All_Crew to follow proper procedure. 06:13 PM - 3 Apr 3077 42 53

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@Communications 1 crew persons(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 06:20 PM - 3 Apr 3077 1 4

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@Communications Stabby has entered the main deck. 06:35 PM - 3 Apr 3077 20 22

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@Communications 4 crewperson(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 06:50 PM - 3 Apr 3077 14 7

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 9 times in the last hour. 07:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 19 24

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@Communications 3 crewperson(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 07:20 PM - 3 Apr 3077 7 14

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has stabbed 5 times in the last hour. 08:12 PM - 3 Apr 3077 9 12

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@Communications 1 crewperson(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 08:20 PM - 3 Apr 3077 7 14

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@Communications 3 crewperson(s) have not saluted Stabby in the last half hour. 08:50 PM - 3 Apr 3077 9 11

Captain Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@All_Crew Stabby is headed toward the docking station. 08:52 PM - 3 Apr 3077 19 24

Cadet Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby has returned to title **Cadet** for more stabbing tomorrow. 08:54 PM - 3 Apr 3077 12 27

Cadet Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
Stabby reached 1 goal today: **20 stabs before breakfast**. 08:55 PM - 3 Apr 3077 19 24

Cadet Stabbington  
@stabbymcstabster   
@All_Crew Stabby is powering down to recharge. Good night. 09:00 PM - 3 Apr 3077 57 65

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter skin credit to: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15664164 and https://archiveofourown.org/works/15664164
> 
> Emoji credit to: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6580324/chapters/15055576
> 
> Letter skin credit to: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/smskins/works/11549178
> 
> History of Stabby: https://fanlore.org/wiki/Stabby_the_Space_Roomba


End file.
